Dear Majella: August

Dear Majella,

I’ve been starting to feel like a bit of a weirdo lately because I have developed some unusual habits. I’m a 34 year old single fella, and I haven’t had much luck with the ladies the last few years, despite the fact that my mum always buys me nice clothes and I’ve got the biggest bedroom in the house! I can’t work it out at all!!

Anyway, I’ve been getting a bit desperate lately and going out to pubs to perv over women. Sometimes I rub up against the really hot ones at the bar, sniffing their hair and even stealing the straws from their drinks to try and get a taste of their lipstick. I feel dirty the next day, but at the time it’s exciting!

Anyway, lately I’ve developed a habit of getting Folly Cabs to drop me off early on the way home, so I can sneak into neighbours yards and sniff sexy underwear on the clothes lines. Is there something wrong with me? I feel like a total sicko.

Sockstash McCafferty

Majella Says :

Naw luv I use Folly Cabs the odd time too, they aren’t as bad as everyone makes out. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all have to get home some way or the other. Chin up pet.