UTV’S Frank Mitchell Admits Shameful Deceptions

Popular UTV Weatherman, Frank Mitchell, has today told of his ‘utter shame’, after he was discovered to be simply making up town names for UTV’s Weather Watch programme – reportedly since 2011.

Suspicions were first raised when the family of Michael Londis, a Belfast map maker, reported him missing after he had gone in search of many of fake town names Frank had highlighted on the show – such as Magherafeltip, Ballycushenpushin, MoMoneymore and Loughnacloth.

The ‘Weather Watch’ section has been a regular fixture on the station for many years now, with Mitchell giving clues to viewers about the location of the weather watch camera, through a series of cryptic puns. Mitchell now admits he grew weary of the charade however, and that ‘out of a sense of dangerous excitement’ he simply began inventing places, whilst repeatedly showing photos of Aughnacloy from different angles.

“I would like to apologise to all the viewers of UTV for letting them down so badly and betraying their trust.” said Mitchell from his home this morning. “I was in a bad place at the time and my actions spiraled out of control, I became addicted to the thrills of making up new towns. I just couldn’t stop myself in the end.”

“I would like to apologise to all the viewers of UTV for letting them down so badly and betraying their trust. I was in a bad place at the time and my actions spiraled out of control, I became addicted to the thrills of making up new towns. I just couldn’t stop myself in the end.”

However PD News can reveal that Frank’s shame doesn’t end there, after the NI Census team raised concerns that the Province was missing around 10,300 people, if the quantity of children’s birthday wishes Frank has dispensed on the show down the years were to be believed.

In another shameful act of deception, it has thus been revealed that Mitchell has likewise been re-using a small number of kids photos, under a litany of different names and identities, in a vain effort to create content and extend his airtime.

Declan Fray, a father of two, now aged 28 and working as a welder for a Dungannon building contractor, revealed that a photo of his 7 year old self sent in to the channel in 1993 by his mum, has repeatedly been used on the channel ever since, under hundreds of fake names.

“Honestly, I’ve been Cormac, Benny, Jake (twice), Larry, Barry, Logan, Eoin, Mickey, Sean, Jonny, Casper, Norman and even a Lucy thanks to a questionable mullet! It’s just not on. I’ve held my silence long enough; Frank Mitchell is a tyrant and he must be stopped”

UTV this morning insisted Frank was acting alone in the scandal and plan to immediately remove him from announcing rain for the foreseeable future, whilst he seeks the help he so badly needs.

A pale and shaken Mitchell left home this morning after the news broke, vowing to face his demons and come back a better man. He had little to say to awaiting press, but did reveal that he had checked into a private rehab facility in Gortnabunion, deep in the heart of the Ballyscullbert valley park.

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3 Comments

  1. Maureen Devine said:

    Absolutely hilarious. Laughing whilst reading!

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