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Visit www.GetTogether.at - The Premiere What's on guide for pubs, clubs, restaurants, theatre and live events in Derry, Ireland.
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Information Gathered
We don't collect personal information without your knowledge. We don't sell, rent, or give your personal information to unrelated third parties without your prior permission.
This policy explains what information we collect about you and how we use that information. We also outline the choices you have.
Traffic Data
Each time a visitor comes to Pure Derry ®, the visitor statistics information is incremented accordingly. This increment only occurs at the start of the session. Further user activity does not affect the website visitor statistics while the browser remains open and/or the duration of their stay on the site. Pure Derry ® visitor statistics therefore represent individual visits made to the main site. Forum hits are not counted as part of these statistics, which represents only the satirical e-newspaper itself.
Pure Derry ® makes no further effort to collect additional information on users, but server hardware as provided by Mindparity Limited does collect a range of detailed statistics including IP addresses, country of origin, operating system and browser configuration. This information is available to Pure Derry ® but not used in any way or passed on to third parties.
E-mail Services
Any/all e-mail addresses sent to us as the result of correspondence with the consumers of Pure Derry ®. will not be passed onto third parties or used for anything other than promoting Pure Derry ® services or that of its partner websites..
Pure Derry ® provides users the opportunity to opt-in and opt-out of receiving e-mail communications from us. This is made available during sign-up for our e-mail lists and in e-mail messages delivered from Pure Derry ®.
Sharing and Usage Of Information
Pure Derry ® never shares, sells, or rents any personal information without your permission, unless ordered by a court of law. Information submitted to us is only available to employees managing this information for purposes of contacting you or sending you emails based on your request for information.
Copyright
Pure Derry® is a satirical newspaper published by independent contributors.
Pure Derry® uses invented names in all its stories, except occasionally in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and
coincidental
.
The content of this web-site—graphics, text and other elements—is © Copyright 2005 by Pure Derry, Ltd., and may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher.
Pure Derry® is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
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Other Headlines
Dracula believed to be responsible for two dozen male bodies found drained of blood throughout the city. A local right-wing feminist group has welcomed the attacks claiming it will teach Derry men to wind their necks in in future.
Shock as women traveller has heart attack at City of Derry Airport. Police are thought to be holding a Chicken Sandwich and a Cup of Black Coffee in for questioning over their suspect pricing. The woman has vowed to never again return to the city, as she remained unsure about the correct location to have a Stroke in Derry/Londonderry.
Shock as TV diet guru Gillian McKeith is heckled by locals during a trip to Derry as part of her “You are what you eat” tour. “That’s a load of fuckin crap” screamed one Sausage Roll Bap who was escorted from the scene. Police are now looking to speak to a portion of Garlic Chips, a Fish Supper and a Chicken Ball Special in connection with the incident.
Pampers scientists “completely baffled” during recent road-show appearance in Derry, upon discovering that local kiddy piss actually is blue. Wetherspoons were quick to distance themselves from the findings, claiming that local stocks of WKD have already been depleted by "customers who were most probably definitely over 18", whilst 50,000 parents claimed their children were safely staying at a “friends”.
Local boy racers disappointed at recent Continentál market event after failing to find a single bargain on imported European car tyres or Japanese alloy wheels.
Gotham billionaire Bruce Wayne has dramatically fled Derry this week following revelations that a local criminal mastermind somehow figured out his secret identity during a business trip to the province. Marty McLaughlin, a Tesco employee maintained his innocence to PureDerry though. “I was only being polite lik, yee know what I mean Batman?”.
Shock as Derry learns local statistical urban legend may be wrong. Long assumed 3-to-1 female-male ratio is now 10-to-1 claims a Magee professor. “There seems to be an unexplained sudden drop in men” he said. 10,000 stupid hair cuts, 8000 silk scarves and an unknown number of embarrassed relatives were unavailable for comment.
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