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Outcry as Gransha launches new community window cleaning scheme.
The window cleaners of Derry are up in arms as a new scheme launched by Gransha hospital threatens to put their livlihood in jeopardy. The scheme, which will begin next week, will see teams of patients take to the Derry streets to assist homeowners with the upkeep of their windows.
The idea was inspired by hospital cleaning staff, who whilst shampooing the upholstery of padded cells, noticed how sparkling the inside of the windows were. The move has been slammed by dozens of Derry window cleaners though, who fear their jobs will be put in danger as they struggle to compete with the service.
Local window cleaner Martin Curran was upset by the plans, saying "My family has been pretending to clean windows and peeking in girls bedrooms for 3 generations, this scheme is an insult to my fathers memory". Mr Curran senior, an alzheimers patient in Gransha, was not allowed to speak to us.
Rod Stewart & Peter Stringfellow to sue Derry hair salons
Derry city salons could soon face chaos as news emerges today of a heavyweight legal battle about to fall on the doorstep of the cities hair dressing community. In a huge legal offensive, English niteclub kingpin Peter Stringfellow and crusty crooner Rod Stewart have joined forces to seek a percentage of image rights for the increasing number of mullet hairdo's being inflicted on the derry populas. The ageing duo are joint chairholders of the notorious Crew Cut Clan organisation (C.C.C. Limited) which includes a number of fellow B-List celebs within its ranks.
In a joint statement released today, the C.C.C. leadership said "It has come to our attention that a number of salons in the Derry area have been freely distributing mullet haircuts with blatent disregard to our copyrights. Mullet haircuts should only be used by trained professional celebrities who are paid well to look like twats. The unlawful use of the mullet by the everyday public is a dangerous path which leads only to back-stabbing and celibacy."
Some Derry barbers already claim to be within the law on this issue such as Baldie's Barbers in Castle Street Derry. In a statement released soon after this news emerged, Mr Baldie said "We can barley cut a short back and sides nevermind these fancy Mulbert things that Ron Steward is going on about!" . Pat Sharp was unavailable for comment.
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