Local News

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Local Football Fans In English National Anthem Nightmare

Broadcasting Complaints Commission ‘OFCOM’ today received a landslide of complaints from Derry, after every bar in town realised that the ‘mute’ button on their dodgy Dreambox remotes were faulty, raising concerns that they won’t be able to turn the sound off during renditions of the English national anthem throughout the World Cup. The news has sparked

World News

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ITV Strike Deal With Belfast Courts To Dispense Justice LIVE

Following yesterday’s news that a Newtonards man was granted bail to appear on Jeremy Kyle – in order to take a lie detector test, Belfast Crown Courts have today struck a deal with ITV, to help decide the fate of other local criminal defendants, on some of their most popular programmes. The five year TV

Politics

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DUP Condemn Racist Banner for ‘Poor Craftsmanship’

The DUP today spoke of their ‘sheer horror’ upon seeing banners erected outside a house in east Belfast voicing neighbour’s disapproval of a Nigerian man due to move into the area. Peter Robinson spoke of his revulsion at the artist’s penmanship, calling it ‘disgusting, disrespectful, and not something a racist Northern Ireland can be proud

Entertainment

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Rory McIllroy Dumps Girlfriend To Concentrate On Acting Career

Rory McIllroy, Northern Ireland’s leading Santander actor, yesterday sensationally announced that he had split with his tennis star girlfriend, Caroline Wozniack – so that he could focus solely on his acting career. McIllroy, the worlds number one actor up until a few years ago, has lost his way in recent times, with many critics blaming

Fiction/Religion

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Another Easter Spoiled for Chocolate Lovers as Christians Hijack Festival Again

Confectionary lovers across the world were again outraged this weekend, after groups of religious fanatics hijacked Easter’s annual festival of Chocolate – to promote their own selfish cause. Easter, traditionally a time of year when families gorge on millions of overpriced chocolate eggs, has in recent years been marred by groups of opportunistic Christian zealots,

Sport

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Tax Payers Angry As Metro Buses Go Pink & White For Giro D’Italia

Translink have come under fire from all quarters of the NI community today, after commuters reported that their entire fleet of Belfast Metro buses had been expensively re-branded pink and white, in preparation for the world famous bike race. Northern Ireland has become awash with pink in recent days, with businesses and communities alike eager

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